I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
