Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
