Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
