So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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