I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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