just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
