You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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