it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
