This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
