Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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