Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
