i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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