I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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