i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
