I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
