Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize