I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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