i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
