VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
