real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
