My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
