But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
