i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
