Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
