i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
