just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
