Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
