Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love you.
Bad choice
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
