sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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