My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I want is dick and wine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
