Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
