My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
