you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
