ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
