i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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