return my video game
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Randomize
