Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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