Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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