she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
