But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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