so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
