I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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