I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
that may or may not have been my penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
