its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
