Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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