Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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