at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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