So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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