problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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