I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The air was thick with penises
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize