Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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