i think my tv is drunk
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
